How many times does it take for someone to recognize that just being correct in a conversation does not make them right?
I live with six people in a five bedroom/two bathroom house. And I assure you that tempers flare. Over what? Well, if you have ever had roommates, you already know what we squabble about.
“Dude, why did you drink my milk?”
“Dude, why did you eat my Hot Pocket?”
“Dude, you cannot leave your hair in the shower.”
“Dude, you need to knock before coming into my room.”
“Could you not walk around in your whitey-tighties?”
And living with six people is tight already. Do I really need to see my roommate smuggling grapes? Hardly. And I believe I am correct in my thinking as well; responding to his “less than stellar” wardrobe. But how do I say it?
Communication is not all in what you say. How we say things is the biggest conduit of communication. Body language. Facial expressions. Use of space. All of which are contributing factors in communicating. The rest of the seven percent? It is not just the word usage that you choose. Inflection and tone play a heavy part in that as well.
Why is it that I want to head butt my roommate when he tells me, “Don’t eat my Hot Pocket?” Is it because he is right? Or is it because he said it in a condescending, derogatory tone? I am not trying to get off the hook, by the way. If someone does something wrong, anything wrong, we should without a doubt confront and offer grace. But there is a great deal of revealing power in communication that shares just what people think and feel about each other. It’s no wonder why Paul would write, saying, “…if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently.”
The same goes for sharing the Gospel, no? How can we who say, “I have the Truth,” and, at the same time, say that with a hint of arrogance, be consistent to it?
My roommates and I sought to be correct in our assessment of space and property. And maybe we did have the best intentions at heart. Could the person that we were having a discussion with tell though? Not all of the time…
I fear that we communicate the wrong thing often times. We sacrifice method for message. (For those of you that know me, I would hope that I wouldn’t have to defend a certain theological position. As for you who do not know me, I shall sum-up where I am at theologically [lest I am accused of being called “emergent”]- Sola Scriptura.)
When you say anything…anything at all…does it come out crystal clear? Or does it ring of, “insensitive jerk”? Perhaps “ignorant fool”? Maybe for all of you guys trying to get with that lady that you dig, the only thing that is heard is, just like that van, “creeper”…
Renouveler le Monde
Comunicaeshun
December 16, 2009 § Leave a comment
How many times does it take for someone to recognize that just being correct in a conversation does not make them right?
I live with six people in a five bedroom/two bathroom house. And I assure you that tempers flare. Over what? Well, if you have ever had roommates, you already know what we squabble about.
“Dude, why did you drink my milk?”
“Dude, why did you eat my Hot Pocket?”
“Dude, you cannot leave your hair in the shower.”
“Dude, you need to knock before coming into my room.”
“Could you not walk around in your whitey-tighties?”
And living with six people is tight already. Do I really need to see my roommate smuggling grapes? Hardly. And I believe I am correct in my thinking as well; responding to his “less than stellar” wardrobe. But how do I say it?
Communication is not all in what you say. How we say things is the biggest conduit of communication. Body language. Facial expressions. Use of space. All of which are contributing factors in communicating. The rest of the seven percent? It is not just the word usage that you choose. Inflection and tone play a heavy part in that as well.
Why is it that I want to head butt my roommate when he tells me, “Don’t eat my Hot Pocket?” Is it because he is right? Or is it because he said it in a condescending, derogatory tone? I am not trying to get off the hook, by the way. If someone does something wrong, anything wrong, we should without a doubt confront and offer grace. But there is a great deal of revealing power in communication that shares just what people think and feel about each other. It’s no wonder why Paul would write, saying, “…if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently.”
The same goes for sharing the Gospel, no? How can we who say, “I have the Truth,” and, at the same time, say that with a hint of arrogance, be consistent to it?
My roommates and I sought to be correct in our assessment of space and property. And maybe we did have the best intentions at heart. Could the person that we were having a discussion with tell though? Not all of the time…
I fear that we communicate the wrong thing often times. We sacrifice method for message. (For those of you that know me, I would hope that I wouldn’t have to defend a certain theological position. As for you who do not know me, I shall sum-up where I am at theologically [lest I am accused of being called “emergent”]- Sola Scriptura.)
When you say anything…anything at all…does it come out crystal clear? Or does it ring of, “insensitive jerk”? Perhaps “ignorant fool”? Maybe for all of you guys trying to get with that lady that you dig, the only thing that is heard is, just like that van, “creeper”…